Ziya - Lonely Together (Official Music Video)

Father, Son, Spirit (Official Lyric Video) // A Table Full Of Strangers ...

Tony Anderson - The King.

A Grace Disguised. How the soul grows through loss – by Jerry Sittser

Sittser in his book on loss talks about friends Andy and Mary and their disabled child. Sarah has never walked, talked, or fed herself. She also has cerebral palsy… they have had to watch other children Sarah’s age progress normally toward adulthood, thus leaving their daughter farther and farther behind. Her presence in their lives dominates and drains them. They live under marital stress, worry about their limited financial resources, and wonder how they will be able to manage caring for her in the years ahead. As each day begins, they wake up to find loss ‘staring them in the face’. They want desperately to care for Sarah, but they are not quite sure how best to do it. They feel sorrow for Sarah and for themselves. What will happen to her? What will happen to them?

Andy and Mary will never ‘recover’ from their loss. Nor can they. Can anyone really expect to recover from such tragedy, considering the value of what was lost and the consequences of that loss? Recovery is a misleading and empty expectation. We recover from broken limbs, not amputations. Catastrophic loss precludes recovery. It will transform us or destroy us, but it will never leave us the same. There is no going back to the past, which is gone forever, only going ahead to the future, which has yet to be discovered, Whatever that future is, it will, and must, include the pain of the past with it. Sorrow never entirely leaves the soul of those who have suffered a severe loss. If anything, it may keep going deeper.

But this depth of sorrow is the sign of a healthy soul, not a sick soul. It does not have to be morbid and fatalistic. It is not something to escape but something to embrace. Jesus said, ‘blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted’. Sorrow indicates that people who have suffered loss are living authentically in a world of misery, and it expresses the emotional anguish of people who feel pain for themselves or for others. Sorrow is noble and gracious. It enlarges the soul until the soul is capable of mourning and rejoicing simultaneously, of feeling the world’s pain and hoping for the world’s healing at the same time. However painful, sorrow is good for the soul.

Deep sorrow often has the effect of stripping life of pretense, vanity, and waste. It forces us to ask basic questions about what is most important in life. Suffering can lead to a simpler life, less cluttered with nonessentials. It is wonderfully clarifying. That is why many people who suffer sudden and severe loss often become different people. They spend more time with their children or spouses, express more affection and appreciation to their friends, show more concern for other wounded people, give more time to a worthy cause, or enjoy more of the ordinariness of life.  

In Search of the Human Face: Identity and the Challenge of Disability

Embrace The Fear

. . . for man shall not see me and live—Exodus 33:20

We are made for fear. We are made to live with fear, not without it, as we would like. It is just, as so often happens, we get preoccupied with things we can see and hear and touch. But these are not what we are supposed to fear—not people, nor circumstances. About such things, our King, Jesus Christ says, “do not fear” (Luke 12:4-5, 22-24). No, we are meant to fear a fearsome God.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge” (Proverbs 1:7).

But what does it mean to fear God? Well, mostly it means keeping our thinking straight. It means seeing God, in all his power, in proper relation and proportion to the people and problems in this world. Though we sometimes act as if he were, God is not smaller than financial hardship, difficult work situations, difficulties with children. He is not equal to them. He is so much bigger, so much more powerful, even comparing does not make sense. He is alpha and omega. He is the beginning and the end of everything.

What is astonishing is this fearsome God, for some reason, chooses to love each of us with a fierce love—a love that is good and will never relent. So, to him, we must not respond as we have been conditioned to respond to fear—control, minimize, avoid, numb. We must respond by recognizing, every day, every moment, that he is the most important, most powerful force in our lives, and that we are his favoured sons.

Okay, so what do we do?

Name your biggest fears. Write them down. Look at them. Imagine them as God sees them. How frightening are they now? The truth is, things we can see, hear, touch are never our ultimate threats, not when God is around—and he always is. Our ultimate threat is choosing to live as if these things are bigger than he.

WiRE - justin@gatherministries.com  

The Christ Church Choir // Way Maker // Live Performance

Tragedy

Each person has the possibility of experiencing the gravely stirring realization that is the perverse quality of tragedy; it describes what is now possible. We do not choose some things. They choose us, and increasingly our lives are less our own. Yet many have made a further discovery: that only in losing your life in another do you truly find yourself - Albert T. Murphy

South African Revenue Services Bullying Continues 25/02/20

SARS Letter instructing us to have 6 specialists vouch Disability of A & M (ITR-DD Form) 

Me again trying to explain our situation 

Affidavid stating that A & M  are what they are

Mountain Bike Accident Tuesday 11 February 2020

Mountain Bike Accident. Tuesday 11 February 2020

Please please please be okay!  For you, your parents, wife, children. Oh God, spare him, please!

What an incredibly fearful moment it was at around 15:45 on that Tuesday afternoon, witnessing a strong young man crash-land his mountain bike coming over a ramp (the ramp he built himself, which he had probably jumped many times before!). I was facing the ramp just after jumping it myself (very carefully, I might add), when I saw a man approaching and then – at great speed and height – entering the ramp, jumping with ease, but then crash-landing, hitting the ground with his head and left shoulder first, the impact let him bounce back onto his right side. His head was bent into his chest as he lay in a bundle on the ground. I dropped my bike and ran as fast as I could to anchor his body between my legs because I was convinced he had broken his neck and had to be kept from moving.

There was a strange rattling sound in his throat and his eyes were glazed over; he was twitching, just a rolled-up bundle of man. He was unconscious for 5 to 6 minutes. I prayed and cried, asking how this could be happening to a man riding and jumping the ramp with such vigour and self-confidence?

My pleading with God for Andrew in that moment came from my years of caring for my own two disabled adult children. I did not want that for Andrew or for all the people who loved him. I did not want this healthy life to change forever right before my eyes!

Anke Veertig 4 Februarie 2020

Anke 

veertig

vashou verlange versigtig volbring verlief verwonderd vreugde volmaak verwagting

verskrik verdwaas vergelding verpletter verdriet

verskeur verbyster

vashou vastrap verniet verreikend

verbeur volhard verbete vereensaam vrees

versoen

vlekkeloos vlerke voëltjie voldoen voleinding volkome volbring verbond vertederend verpoos                                                            

verlies

veertig

vader


English translation below right hand side

Anke 4 Februarie 2020	Anke’s 40th birthday, 4 February 2020 Veertig = 40 Forty Afrikaans words that begin in V
veertig	forty
vashou verlange versigtig volbring verlief verwonderd vreugde volmaak verwagting	hold, longing, careful, fulfilled in love, in awe, joy, perfect expectation
verskrik verdwaas vergelding verpletter verdriet	panic-stricken, stupefied, retaliation, shattered, grief
verskeur verbyster vashou vastrap verniet verreikend	torn apart, bewildered hold on, stand firm, to no avail, far-reaching
verbeur volhard verbete vereensaam vrees	relinquish, hold tight, dogged, isolated fear
versoen	reconciled
vlekkeloos vlerke voëltjie voldoen voleinding volkome volbring verbond vertederend verpoos	untainted, wings, little bird, sufficient completion, flawless, culmination, covenant, heart-rending, rest for a little while
verlies	loss
veertig	forty
vader	father

Bullying (again) at the start of 2020 - SARS - South African Revenue Service

Just last week...

   we had our annual session with our tax person - same 'trauma' each and every year - just at the start of the new year. Costly affair, paying for missing bank statements, paying to find proof of legit expenses concerning caring for Anke & Markus. Having to listen (again) how the tax consultancy spent far too much time on our tax return - giving us a huge discount (again) for the last time (which is understandable). We are informed (again), that they work as hard on our tax return as what they do for a small business with employees (we only have the 2 nannies for goodness sake!). They put in the effort on our behalf at a price.  

We don't have pension funds or subsidised medical aid membership on our hospital plan.  We have to work to generate enough income every month to cover our costs in taking care of Anke and Markus (and ourselves and the 2 nannies). Now this monthly budgeted income is what we need, the amount per month we have to generate/need push us into a specific tax bracket, forcing us to buy the services of a specialist tax person to help us out of this tax bracket 'mess' as we cannot really afford to keep on paying the amounts of provisional tax twice a year (as our expenses is what it is!).  We have to rely heavily on our tax person to assist us, as we do not have the know how to navigate the complicated tax rebate maze of having 2 disabled adult children.

SARS audit me every year, as they don't keep good record from year to year about our situation. Every new tax year's person at SARS receiving our tax return need to be convinced all over (again) that we claim what we claim in terms of our situation. We have to prove to them every year (at great cost), that yes Anke and Markus are what they are (still!). We attach photo evidence with an affidavit to prove our situation. Photos to show how disabled Anke and Markus are. SARS fortunately only require from us every second year (missed this time around), to submit an official SARS form where we have to pay 6 different specialists - psychiatrist, audiologist, psychologist, optometrist etc. vouching that they are disabled and are dependant on us for their every need! 

What a schlepp. It is as if we have to brace us this time of year, every year to be bullied by SARS! until next year. We need to keep meticulous record through the year of our every cent for the next tax return!

When will this stop? 

HAEVN - Where The Heart Is (live @ Roodshow Late Night)